• Transformation requires difficult conversations. They are opportunities for growth and elevation.
• There’s no point in avoiding difficult conversations. They are part of life and pillars for any successful and healthy relationship—business or personal.
• Difficult conversations are difficult because of how we approach them. We first need to change how we think about them. 
• We’re jumping into conclusions and judgments too fast. Our ‘shoulds’ or ‘shouldn’ts’ are what get us into trouble in arguments. An argument occurs when two people’s shoulds clash.
• In any difficult conversation, no one person is to fully blame: Both parties contributed to the issue in one way or another. 
• Generally speaking there are three types of difficult conversations: 
• - The “What Happened Conversation”, 
• - The Feelings Conversation”, 
• - and “The Identity Conversation”
• The “What Happened Conversation” is about who’s “right” and who’s “wrong.” We often view ourselves as victims and thus find ourselves blaming the other for their wrongdoings. 
• The antidote to the “What Happened Conversation” is to take ownership and focus on the ways we might have contributed to the situation. That way, the other person has less room to get defensive. 
• The “Feelings Conversation” is about both parties' emotions and their validity. Most people go into difficult conversations suppressing their feelings, or alternatively, convinced that their feelings are the only ones that matter.
• The antidote to the “feelings conversation” is becoming more aware of our emotional footprint — what emotions we feel comfortable and uncomfortable acknowledging, what emotions we bring from the past, and whether the stories we’re telling ourselves  are empowering or true. In this context, It’s important to remember that all emotions are valid. It’s about how we use them in more constructive and healthy ways.
• The “Identity Conversation” is about the internal conversation that each party has with himself. In general, identity issues center on three underlying questions: “Am I competent?” “Am I a good person?”, and “Am I worthy of love?” — we’re usually worried that the answer to each question is no.
• The antidote to the “Identity Conversation” is to let go of harsh judgments and absolutes and build a more grounded identity, where we know our value and where we know we’re worthy of love, no matter what the situation is. Yes, we may have made a mistake, but we are competent, good, and loveable. 

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The above is inspired from the bestselling book "Difficult Conversations" by Douglas Stone

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